Kogane Miguraki
by Mini-Chobi
Summary: What started out as an errand for the Hokage turns into a utter disaster for Shikamaru. What happens when you transform into a sexy girl that all the guys are after? THIS! Horrifying MarySue Parody. HIATUS


Izumo and Kotetsu raised an eyebrow as they saw the figure aproaching them. The person they were looking at looked up, gave a weak smile and waved in hello.

"Hi..." sighed Shikamaru as he plopped down beside the two special Jounin. "No-one here yet?"

"Nope," answered Izumo. "We're still waiting for the wannabes to get here."

"It's almost 11 though, they should be here around 12," reasoned Kotetsu.

"Yeah... sure..." yawned Shikamaru. "How Tsunade talked me into this one... is beyond me..."

Izumo and Kotetsu frowned in unison. Poor Shikamaru, they thought. He should never have become a Jounin. Either it was punishment for his constant rants on troublesome women, or punishment, quite ironically, for his super-high IQ. These days, it seemed like the orders Shikamaru recieved from the Hokage were endless.

The orders ranged from helping take out garbage at the Academy (how many candy wrappers can these stupid bags take?) to helping nominate Chuunin for the Jounin exams (not that time of the year again! PLEASE!) to being an assistant medic (how in the name of Yondaime can these people get hurt so often? I swear that I saw that person over there skipping around yesterday!).

Needless to say, his life was more hectic than the rest of the Rookie 9 put together.

The shadow master barely had anytime to eat and sleep, isolating him greatly from the rest of the world. The only contact he had with other people was if he was sent on duty with them, like now, or if he went on a mission with a number of teammates. Then again, there's always the unwelcome contact with the enemy in a fight.

Shikamaru's had too much of that kind of contact, though.

The new set of duties to add to the load was the Chuunin exam. Yes, it's that kind of duty. The one which involves the henge into your younger self and using genjutsu to trick the first-timers and later having a say in the passing of the genin. However, there was one catch.

Pretty much everyone that didn't live under a rock knew what Shikamaru looked like. His face was about as familiar to the people of the village as Sasuke's face is to his fangirls. What with him running various errands for the Hokage and all, quite a lot of people have come to know him.

Using henge to transform into his 12-year-old self wasn't the smartest idea -especially since he really hasn't changed that much over the past 4 years.

"Hey, Shikamaru," started Izumo. "about the tiff, did you figure out what to do?"

Shikamaru turned to his two companions and nodded.

"Yeah," he replied. "It's guaranteed to be troublesome though."

"Show us," said Kotetsu, sitting up straighter against the door to classroom 201.

A slight smirk lit up Shikamaru's tired features. Stretching, he stood up, and announced that he would go to the bathroom. Izumo and Kotetsu nodded, slightly annoyed.

While Shikamaru was gone, Izumo took out three cans of juice, and after handing one to Kotetsu, opened up another one and sipped the drink, leaving one for Shikamaru. No-one really knew what Shikamaru did when he 'went to the washroom/bathroom' this past year.

All they knew was that he took an awfully long time -even if he was taking a shit. No-one crapped that many times a day though, so most people dismissed that as an option. When he came back out though, he would seem... different. As if he had found out some new secret.

Izumo and Kotetsu figured that this time couldn't be all that different.

---

Shikamaru stood in front of the sink, his hands formed into the hand seal necessary for the henge. He closed his eyes. There was a puff of smoke and there stood transformed Shikamaru.

Opening his eyes, Shikamaru grinned at his reflection. He tucked a few strands of hair behind his ears. Perfect. He was just so very glad that Tsunade had come up with this idea.

Stepping out of the washroom, he slipped across the hall and took out a book from his weapons pouch. This is what he did all the time. No-one but Kakashi came close to figuring out what the hell he did when he claimed to go to the washroom.

Chuckling to himself, Shikamaru opened up his copy of Icha Icha Violence, wanting to get through it quickly so he could move on to Icha Icha Tactics.

Junko's just too cool.

---

Kotetsu stood up to stretch. He glanced at the clock. 11:15. He had long finished his drink, and had finished the third can as well. Izumo had dozed off sitting against the door.

Suddenly, Kotetsu heard footsteps around the place where the bahrooms were. Assuming that it was Shikamaru coming back from his washroom expedition, Kotetsu ignored it and slumped back down on the floor. However, he sprang back up a moment later, waking Izumo in the process.

"Wha...?" asked Izumo vaguely, looking up at Kotetsu.

Kotetsu pointed down the hallway. A figure was approaching them, but it wasn't Shikamaru. It couldn't be Shikamaru, because it looked like-

"A woman?" inquired Izumo, standing up as well. "Is someone here already?"

"Wait," whispered Kotetsu. "Not just any woman..."

Izumo rubbed his eyes, when he finished, he looked again, and raised his eyebrows.

"Woah... _sexy_ woman..." he whispered to Kotetsu.

Kotetsu grinned. Sure, he was around many alluring women in his life. Kurenai's the target for a lot of Jounin men, as is Anko. Heck, even Tsunade was appealing at times -if only he could see if those breasts were real...

But this one, she was different -sexy, mysterious and bold at the same time. She had long, midnight blue hair cascading down her back, her bangs parted in the middle and tucked behind her ear.

Her face was heart-shaped, and her two almond shaped, black eyes glittered with a kind of warmth. Her nose was small and perfect, and her lips were pinkish-red, contrasting against her fair skin.

The woman was had a petite body. She was wearing a long sleeved net shirt and a light blue, tight, knee-length dress with slits overtop that darkened near the bottom. Her breasts were firm, her ass small and round,and her dress accentuated her curves.Underneath her dress were tight white shorts.

On her left arm was a grass headband. She wore the uniform sandals as well, with bandages around her calves. The shuriken/kunai holster was on her right thigh, and one of delicate hands were resting on top of it, as though ready to lash out with weapons at any given time.

Over her dress, strung like a belt was her weapons pouch. It rested on her left butt cheek.Kotetsu licked his lips slightly. What he wouldn't give to be that weapons pouch right now...

Her hips swayed slightly as she walked towards them -not too much as to being slutty, but enough to be way sexy. A slight smirk lifted the corners of her mouth, and as she reached the two men, one of her hands came up in front of her face in a hand seal.

There was a puff of smoke, and were the sexy lady once was, stood Shikamaru.

Izumo, who had felt a nose bleed coming on, dropped the napkin that he was holding and gawked at the fellow Jounin. Kotetsu was equally shocked, nursing his nosebleed. Apparently, he was more lecherous than Izumo, and the nosebleed came on faster.

There was a moment of silence, then-

"So what about it?" asked Shikamaru cheerfully.

"That's your solution?" croaked Izumo.

"Yes. I'm going to transform into a girl."

"She have a name?" asked Kotetsu.

"Yeah," replied Shikamaru. "Tsunade made it up. Kogane Miguraki."

"So you want us to call you Miguraki-chan now?" Izumo said mockingly.

"Unless I'm in my henge form... no."

"So, you're going to be a sexy lady -" said Kotetsu.

"-to trick the first-timers and give the guys massive nosebleeds? Yes." replied Shikamaru, a wide grin on his face.

...silence...

"OMGWTF!"

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Yes. Very random. Shikamaru-centric fic which will hopefully updated with really short chapters every week or so. Hopefully.

Haha... Shikamaru's going to be a sexy lady! w00t!11eleventyone!1 I got this idea when I was brushing my teeth -really! Really strange me...

Oh, to clear up any misunderstandings, Shikamaru is the sexy lady. There. Simple and clean-cut. And no, Izumo and Kotetsu are not gay. Definetly not. I do NOT write yaoi... or however it's spelt.

And also, Junko is the main character of the Icha Icha series... I think.

Hehe.. I like the idea of pervy Shikamaru that uses the bathroom as an excuse to read Icha Icha material... don't you?

I mean, he's not going ot be an outright perv like Jiraiya -more like Kakashi. Excpt he doesn't let people knew he's reading it. He's not that obsessed. And he definetly WILL NOT do anything perverted. At least not in my story!

Cheers! XP

-MC


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